Feeling Stuck: Motivation, Purpose & Life Transitions: who to see and what helps

Feeling Stuck · Kitchener, Waterloo & Cambridge

Feeling stuck is not a diagnosis. It is what people call a stretch when motivation has gone, little feels meaningful or enjoyable, a change has left them unsure what comes next, or habits they dislike will not shift. Nobody has studied “stuck” as a single thing, but its parts have been tested: doing more of what is rewarding, working out what matters to you, setting goals with someone’s support, and regular exercise all have trials behind them. Start with a counsellor, a Registered Psychotherapist or Registered Social Worker, and stay alert for depression, which can look the same from the inside.

What this page covers

People rarely book a counsellor and say “I am stuck”. They say one of these:

• “I have no motivation.”
• “I do not know what I am doing this for.” A loss of purpose or meaning.
• “Nothing is fun any more.”
• “My life is fine on paper and I am not happy with it.”
• “I am changing careers, or I should be, and I cannot decide.”
• “I keep going back to habits I want to stop.”
• “Nothing is wrong. I want to work on myself before something is.”

The last one is as good a reason as the others. Some of the research below was done with people who had no diagnosis, and they benefited too.

What can be behind it

Because this is not one condition, no study gives its causes. Four things are worth ruling in or out.

• A change. Finishing a degree, a layoff, a new job, retirement, a separation, children leaving home. Major life changes and stress are recognized risk factors for depression.
• Depression. Loss of interest, low energy and trouble deciding are symptoms of it. The next section says how to tell.
• A physical cause. Certain physical illnesses and some medicines raise the risk of depression. If your energy has dropped with no clear reason, see a physician or nurse practitioner.
• Work or the season. If it centres on your job, read our Burnout page. If it arrives each winter, read Seasonal Affective Disorder.

Is it depression?

This is the question to answer first, because depression is a health condition with its own treatments. CAMH describes clinical depression as much more than unhappiness. Its signs include persistent sadness, loss of interest in favourite activities, feelings of worthlessness, trouble making decisions and concentrating, fatigue, sleeping too much or too little, and changes in appetite. A person may have depression when symptoms are there on most days, last most of the day, persist for more than two weeks, and affect work, school or relationships.

If that describes the last two weeks, see a physician or nurse practitioner. Counsellors do not diagnose depression; in Ontario a physician, nurse practitioner, psychiatrist or psychologist does.

When to get help right away

Thoughts of death or suicide are among the signs of depression, and thoughts of suicide are a mental health emergency.

If you are thinking about suicide, or you do not feel safe, do not wait for an appointment: use the numbers below.

If you are in crisis or thinking about suicide, help is available right now.

• Call or text 9-8-8, the Suicide Crisis Helpline, at any hour.
• Call Here 24/7 at 1-844-437-3247 for addictions, mental health and crisis services in Waterloo Region, at any hour. here247.ca
• Call 911 or go to the nearest emergency department if you or someone else is in immediate danger.

The emergency departments in Waterloo Region are:

• WRHN @ Midtown (formerly Grand River Hospital), 835 King St. W., Kitchener
• WRHN @ Queen’s Blvd. (formerly St. Mary’s General Hospital), 911 Queen’s Blvd., Kitchener
• Cambridge Memorial Hospital, 700 Coronation Blvd., Cambridge

If you cannot get there safely, call 911.

What the evidence says about getting unstuck

• Do more of what is rewarding, on purpose. Behavioural activation means deliberately planning and doing more of the activities that bring you reward. A review of 20 randomized trials with 1,353 people compared it with a control group in 10 of them (465 people). In those it improved well-being by a moderate amount, and the result was about the same in people with no clinical symptoms (four comparisons, 303 people). Few trials checked whether the gain lasted.
• Positive psychology exercises help a little. Across 39 trials and 6,139 people, such exercises produced small gains in well-being that were still measurable three to six months later. Most of the trials were of low or medium quality.
• A sense of meaning can be built, at least in people facing illness or adversity. A review of 33 randomized trials in people experiencing disease or adversity found that programs aimed at meaning in life raised it compared with no program, and by less when compared with another activity. Results varied widely, and some programs that worked were brief. Only the summary of this review was available to us.
• Exercise improves mood. An overview of 97 reviews covering 1,039 trials found physical activity improves symptoms of depression, anxiety and distress in adults, healthy adults included, with higher intensity doing more. Most of those reviews were rated critically low in quality, the bottom grade. The trials measured mood, not motivation or purpose.
• Coaching helped people reach goals in the studies so far. A meta-analysis of coaching in workplaces found positive effects on well-being, coping and, most of all, on pursuing goals (summary read). In one small trial with students, 23 of whom were coached, individual coaching improved goal attainment and working alone from a manual did not; nobody was followed up.
• Habits take months. A 2024 review of 20 habit studies found only four that measured how long a habit takes to become automatic. Two reported medians of 59 and 66 days, one reported averages of 106 to 154 days, and in one the range between people was 4 to 335 days. The reviewers’ summary is two to five months. Eleven of the 20 studies had a high risk of bias.
• Career change: not reviewed here. We have not reviewed the research on career counselling, so this page makes no claim about it.

How CARESPACE helps when you feel stuck

Counselling & Psychotherapy

A counsellor can start by helping you say which kind of stuck this is, since a lost sense of purpose and a habit that will not shift call for different work. Sessions can then include planning specific rewarding activities and watching what they do to your week, which is the behavioural activation approach; time on what you value and want your life to be about; and a plan for the decision or change in front of you. If you want a counsellor who uses behavioural activation, ask when you book. Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) is one of the approaches CARESPACE counsellors offer. A counsellor can also notice when the picture looks like depression and tell you it is time to see a physician.

See our counselling team →

Other services people ask about

Mental performance. Mental performance consulting is a coaching service; it is not therapy. Coaching helped people pursue and reach goals in workplace studies and in one student trial; none of that research involved mental performance consultants. Personal training. A personal trainer can build and supervise an exercise program. Canada’s movement guidelines for adults set the target: at least 150 minutes of moderate to vigorous activity a week, plus muscle strengthening at least twice. The research ties physical activity to better mood and less distress. It studied activity, not one-to-one training, and it does not show that exercise restores motivation or purpose.

Where most people start

With a counsellor, because the first task is working out what is going on, and that includes noticing whether it could be depression.

How your team works together

One service leads, and for most people it is the only one: counselling. If low energy or low mood needs a medical look, that part belongs to a physician or nurse practitioner.

Browse by service: counselling.

What to expect at your first visit

Your first visit is with a counsellor, who works to understand your concern. You do not need a tidy explanation. These are worth some thought beforehand:

1. Which sentence in the list at the top is yours, or closest to it.
2. When it started, and whether anything changed around then.
3. What a good week used to contain that this one does not.
4. Sleep, energy and appetite lately, and when you last saw a physician.
5. What you would want to be different in three months.

You go home with a plan.

What you can do at home

• Put one thing you used to enjoy, or that matters to you, into this week’s calendar, and keep the appointment.
• Move. Work toward 150 minutes a week of activity that raises your heart rate, and strength work twice a week.
• Aim for seven to nine hours of sleep, with regular bed and wake times.
• Get outdoors, and go easy on alcohol.
• Choose a new habit yourself, pick something you can enjoy, and tie it to a fixed time and place; mornings held better than evenings in one study.
• Give a new habit months, not days, before you judge it.

How long does it last?

There is no typical timeline, because feeling stuck is not one thing. Two markers help. If nothing has shifted after two weeks and the signs of depression above fit, see a physician or nurse practitioner. If you are building new habits, expect two to five months before they run on their own.

Help with feeling stuck in Kitchener, Waterloo and Cambridge

Kitchener. Counselling in Kitchener. Locations: Victoria North, Fischer-Hallman, Westmount East and Deer Ridge.

Waterloo. Counselling in Waterloo. Locations: Weber North, Uptown Waterloo and Waterloo GoodLife.

Cambridge. Counselling in Cambridge. Location: Hespeler Road.

The city pages linked above show the locations and practitioners for each service, with their next availability.

Common questions

Is feeling stuck the same as depression?

Not necessarily. Depression is a diagnosis with defined symptoms that last more than two weeks and interfere with daily life. Feeling stuck can be milder, or can be depression that has not been recognized. If the description under “Is it depression?” fits, see a physician or nurse practitioner.

Do I have to be struggling to see a counsellor?

No. In trials of behavioural activation, people with no clinical symptoms improved their well-being about as much as people who had them. Wanting to work on your life before there is a problem is reason enough.

Can counselling help me decide about a career change?

A counsellor can help you sort out what matters to you and plan the next steps. We have not reviewed the research on career counselling, so this page makes no claim about how well it works.

How long does it take to break or build a habit?

Longer than most people allow. A 2024 review found only four studies that measured it: two found medians of about two months, one found averages of 106 to 154 days, and the range between people was very wide.

Where can I get help with feeling stuck in Kitchener?

See Counselling in Kitchener, or call 519-208-2273 and our Central Reception Team will find the closest location with an opening.

Do I need a referral?

No. Book online or call 519-208-2273. You pay at each visit and receive a receipt for your extended health plan. More on fees and insurance →

Sources

• Centre for Addiction and Mental Health (CAMH). Depression.
• Mazzucchelli TG, Kane RT, Rees CS. Behavioral activation interventions for well-being: a meta-analysis. The Journal of Positive Psychology, 2010.
• Bolier L, Haverman M, Westerhof GJ, et al. Positive psychology interventions: a meta-analysis of randomized controlled studies. BMC Public Health, 2013.
• Manco N, Hamby S. A meta-analytic review of interventions that promote meaning in life. American Journal of Health Promotion, 2021 (summary read).
• Singh B, Olds T, Curtis R, et al. Effectiveness of physical activity interventions for improving depression, anxiety and distress: an overview of systematic reviews. British Journal of Sports Medicine, 2023.
• Canadian Society for Exercise Physiology. Canadian 24-Hour Movement Guidelines for Adults aged 18–64 years.
• Theeboom T, Beersma B, van Vianen AEM. Does coaching work? A meta-analysis on the effects of coaching on individual level outcomes in an organizational context. The Journal of Positive Psychology, 2014 (summary read).
• Losch S, Traut-Mattausch E, Mühlberger MD, Jonas E. Comparing the effectiveness of individual coaching, self-coaching, and group training: how leadership makes the difference. Frontiers in Psychology, 2016.
• Singh B, Murphy A, Maher C, Smith AE. Time to form a habit: a systematic review and meta-analysis of health behaviour habit formation and its determinants. Healthcare, 2024.
• 9-8-8: Suicide Crisis Helpline. 988.ca.
• Here 24/7 (addictions, mental health and crisis services, Waterloo Wellington). here247.ca.

Related conditions

• Depression
• Burnout
• Seasonal Affective Disorder
• Procrastination
• Loneliness

Ready to book?

Book online with a counsellor, or call 519-208-2273 and our Central Reception Team will match you with the right person and the closest location.

Online booking