Passive Aggressive Behaviours – Symptoms, Causes, and Treatment Options

Overview of Passive Aggressive Behaviours

Passive aggressive behaviours involve expressing negative feelings indirectly instead of openly addressing them. Rather than stating frustration, disagreement, or anger, a person might resist through avoidance, silence, or subtle defiance.

How common are passive aggressive behaviours?

While not always diagnosed as a clinical disorder on its own, passive aggressive behaviours are widely recognized in psychology and everyday interactions. They may appear as part of personality traits, in response to stress, or in connection with conditions like depression and anxiety. Because these behaviours are subtle, exact prevalence is hard to measure, but research shows they are common in workplace conflicts, intimate relationships, and stressful environments (Hopwood et al., 2009, Journal of Personality Disorders).

Why do passive aggressive behaviours matter?

These behaviours can significantly impact daily life:

• Work: Colleagues may miss deadlines, resist teamwork, or sabotage group projects without saying why.
• Relationships: Partners or friends may feel confused, hurt, or mistrustful due to unspoken tension.
• Sports & teamwork: Athletes or group participants may “check out,” reducing motivation and performance.
• Sleep & stress: Avoidance and bottled-up emotions contribute to anxiety, insomnia, or irritability.
• Mental health: Over time, passive aggressive patterns can lead to depression, resentment, or low self-esteem.

How are passive aggressive behaviours different from open conflict?

1. Direct aggression: Involves clear verbal or physical hostility (e.g., yelling, insulting, hitting).
2. Passive aggression: Involves hidden resistance or subtle undermining (e.g., giving the silent treatment, feigned forgetfulness).

Symptoms of Passive Aggressive Behaviours

Passive aggressive behaviours show up as indirect, negative responses that mask underlying anger, frustration, or resistance. While they may look subtle, they can create significant challenges in work, relationships, and mental health.

What are the main symptoms of passive aggressive behaviours?

• Procrastination – delaying tasks requested by others.
• Intentional inefficiency – doing work poorly to avoid responsibility.
• Stubbornness or resistance – agreeing to tasks but then not following through.
• Sarcasm or backhanded compliments – expressing hostility in a disguised way.
• Silent treatment – withholding communication to punish or control.
• Feigning forgetfulness – “forgetting” tasks or commitments as a form of resistance.

How severe can passive aggressive behaviours be?

1. Mild: Occasional avoidance or sarcasm during stressful situations.
2. Moderate: Frequent patterns that disrupt work or relationships.
3. Severe: Consistent use of indirect hostility, leading to long-term relationship breakdowns and workplace dysfunction.

How do passive aggressive behaviours affect daily life?

• Work: Missed deadlines, poor communication, and hidden resentment undermine productivity.
• Relationships: Emotional distance and unspoken hostility create mistrust and conflict.
• Sleep: Bottled-up stress may manifest as insomnia or poor rest.
• Mood: Constant indirect expression of anger can fuel anxiety, guilt, or depression.
• Sports & teams: Resentful disengagement weakens team morale and cohesion.

Red flag signs of passive aggressive behaviours

• Frequent sarcasm or “jokes” at someone else’s expense.
• Agreeing to help but failing to follow through consistently.
• Using silence or withdrawal instead of open communication.
• Feeling resentful but never addressing concerns directly.

Reference: American Psychiatric Association. (2013). Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition (DSM-5). Arlington, VA: American Psychiatric Publishing.

Causes and Risk Factors for Passive Aggressive Behaviours

Passive aggressive behaviours develop from a mix of personality traits, upbringing, stress, and environment. They are often learned coping strategies for expressing anger or dissatisfaction without open confrontation.

What are the main causes of passive aggressive behaviours?

• Childhood experiences: Growing up in families where open expression of anger was discouraged.
• Personality traits: Higher sensitivity to conflict or discomfort with assertiveness.
• Stress and fatigue: Ongoing stress makes indirect resistance more likely.
• Cultural and workplace norms: Environments that punish disagreement may encourage hidden forms of defiance.
• Underlying mental health conditions: Depression, anxiety, and personality disorders can contribute to passive aggression.

What risk factors make passive aggressive behaviours more likely?

• Age: While common across all ages, patterns often develop in adolescence when coping skills are forming.
• Occupation: Jobs with rigid hierarchies (military, corporate) may discourage open disagreement, leading to passive aggression.
• Relationships: Power imbalances in couples or families can reinforce indirect expressions of anger.
• Lifestyle factors: Chronic stress, poor sleep, or substance use increase irritability and passive coping strategies.

How do passive aggressive behaviours differ from assertiveness issues?

• Passive aggression: Indirectly resists tasks while appearing to agree.
• Lack of assertiveness: Avoids confrontation altogether, often at personal expense.
• Assertiveness: Clearly expresses needs or disagreements while respecting others.

Daily life and long-term risks

Left unaddressed, passive aggressive behaviours may:

• Damage trust in close relationships.
• Create toxic workplace cultures.
• Lead to ongoing stress, anxiety, or depression.
• Prevent healthy conflict resolution and problem-solving.

Reference: Kashdan, T. B., Barrios, V., Forsyth, J. P., & Steger, M. F. (2006). Experiential avoidance as a generalized psychological vulnerability: Comparisons with coping and emotion regulation strategies. Behaviour Research and Therapy, 44(9), 1301–1320. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.brat.2005.10.003

Diagnosis, Recovery, and Management of Passive Aggressive Behaviours

Passive aggressive behaviours can be difficult to identify and address because they are indirect by nature. While not a stand-alone mental health disorder in current diagnostic manuals, they often show up as a communication pattern or coping strategy linked with stress, mood, or relationship difficulties. Below, we explore how professionals diagnose passive aggressive behaviours, what recovery looks like, and the best management strategies for lasting improvement.

Diagnosis of Passive Aggressive Behaviours

Passive aggressive behaviours are diagnosed through observation, interviews, and validated screening tools, not through medical imaging or lab tests. Mental health professionals evaluate patterns of communication and coping to understand whether these behaviours are isolated reactions or part of a larger issue.

How do professionals test for passive aggressive behaviours?

There is no single “test” for passive aggression. Instead, diagnosis involves:

• Clinical interviews: Asking about relationship patterns, work habits, and ways you express frustration.
• Screening questionnaires: Tools like the Personality Assessment Inventory (PAI) or Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Inventory (MMPI-2) sometimes highlight passive aggressive traits.
• Observation of behaviour: Noticing repeated patterns like procrastination, sarcasm, or avoidance.
• Collateral information: Input from partners, family, or co-workers may help confirm patterns.

How do practitioners identify the root cause?

A professional looks beyond the behaviour to uncover underlying drivers, such as:

• Family dynamics – Were you discouraged from expressing anger directly as a child?
• Workplace culture – Is confrontation punished or discouraged, forcing indirect responses?
• Mental health conditions – Depression, anxiety, or personality disorders may increase reliance on passive coping.
• Stress and environment – High-pressure situations often fuel avoidance and subtle resistance.

How is passive aggression different from similar conditions?

1. Passive aggression vs. assertiveness issues: Someone with poor assertiveness avoids conflict entirely, while someone with passive aggression resists in indirect, negative ways.
2. Passive aggression vs. depression: Depression can cause fatigue or missed tasks, but passive aggression involves deliberate resistance.
3. Passive aggression vs. oppositional behaviours: In children, oppositional defiant disorder (ODD) involves open hostility, while passive aggression is more subtle.

Recovery & Prognosis for Passive Aggressive Behaviours

Recovery from passive aggressive behaviours involves learning healthier communication strategies, emotional awareness, and coping skills. Because these behaviours are often habits formed over years, change takes time and consistency.

How long does it take to recover?

1. Mild cases: With self-help strategies and increased awareness, improvement may occur in 3–6 months.
2. Moderate cases: If passive aggression has become a main coping style in relationships or work, recovery may take 6–12 months with therapy.
3. Severe cases: When behaviours are deeply ingrained or connected to personality disorders, treatment may take a year or more, requiring long-term therapy and coaching.

What influences long-term outcomes?

• Motivation to change: People who recognize the impact of their behaviours improve faster.
• Support system: Relationships that encourage openness help reduce passive aggressive patterns.
• Therapeutic support: Cognitive-behavioural therapy (CBT), dialectical behaviour therapy (DBT), or interpersonal therapy provide structured change.
• Stress management: Managing stress and sleep reduces the tendency to avoid or resist indirectly.

Decision pathway for prognosis

1. If mild → Self-awareness, journaling, and communication training may be enough.
2. If moderate → Regular therapy sessions and structured communication practice improve outcomes.
3. If severe → Long-term therapy with family or workplace involvement may be required.

Return-to-life outcomes

• Work: Better communication improves productivity, teamwork, and leadership.
• Relationships: Partners and family members report greater trust and less resentment.
• Social life: Reduced avoidance encourages more satisfying friendships.
• Long-term: Improved assertiveness and emotional regulation reduce relapse risk.

Management of Passive Aggressive Behaviours

Managing passive aggressive behaviours means replacing indirect resistance with healthier communication and coping strategies. The focus is on developing assertiveness, self-awareness, and emotional regulation.

What’s the best way to manage passive aggressive behaviours at home?

Self-help strategies can reduce passive aggression:

• Pause and reflect: Notice when you feel resentful but aren’t speaking up.
• Use “I” statements: Say, “I feel frustrated when…” instead of acting out indirectly.
• Practice assertiveness: Role-play direct communication in safe settings.
• Monitor stress: Keep sleep, exercise, and nutrition consistent to lower irritability.
• Journal triggers: Track situations where passive aggression appears to spot patterns.

Step-by-step self-help tips

1. Notice the urge – Identify when you feel like withdrawing, procrastinating, or using sarcasm.
2. Name the emotion – Label the underlying feeling (anger, fear, disappointment).
3. Choose a direct response – Practice expressing it calmly and clearly.
4. Check outcomes – Reflect on whether direct communication improved the situation.
5. Repeat consistently – Over time, new patterns replace passive aggression.

Therapy and professional strategies

• CBT: Helps challenge negative thought patterns and practice healthier responses.
• DBT: Teaches emotional regulation and communication skills.
• Interpersonal therapy (IPT): Focuses on relationships and conflict resolution.
• Group therapy: Provides real-time practice with direct communication.

Lifestyle and social strategies

• Ergonomics & posture: Stress in the body can fuel irritability—physical wellness supports mental clarity.
• Exercise: Reduces stress and improves confidence in addressing conflict.
• Social support: Trusted friends, mentors, or groups can model healthier communication.
• Habit formation: Setting reminders to check in with emotions builds new defaults.

Comparison: Self-help vs. professional care

1. Self-help: Effective for mild, situational behaviours.
2. Professional care: Necessary if behaviours are persistent, severe, or damaging relationships and work.

Multidisciplinary Care for Passive Aggressive Behaviours at CARESPACE

At CARESPACE, passive aggressive behaviours are addressed through a coordinated, team-based approach that combines psychological, physical, and lifestyle care. This integrated model helps you understand the root causes of your behaviours, while also building healthier communication, reducing stress, and supporting long-term personal growth.

How does CARESPACE treat passive aggressive behaviours differently?

CARESPACE treats passive aggressive behaviours differently by combining multiple disciplines into one seamless care plan. Instead of relying on a single provider, your care team works together to address both the mental and physical aspects that drive indirect communication and resistance.

Here’s what this looks like:

• Psychotherapy gives you tools to identify emotions, practice assertiveness, and break unhelpful patterns.
• Mental performance coaching helps you build confidence in direct communication and set personal or professional goals.
• Nutrition counselling and naturopathic medicine support mood stability and reduce irritability by balancing energy, hormones, and sleep.
• Massage therapy and acupuncture calm the nervous system, helping reduce the stress and tension that often fuel indirect behaviours.
• Fitness training and kinesiology provide healthy outlets for stress release, while improving self-awareness and resilience.

Why does a team approach help passive aggressive behaviours improve faster?

A team approach works because passive aggressive behaviours are rarely caused by just one factor. They usually develop from a mix of stress, emotional habits, communication styles, and even physical tension.

For example:

• A psychotherapist helps you understand why you avoid direct conflict.
• A coach supports you in practicing assertive communication in real-world scenarios.
• A nutritionist works with you to reduce caffeine or sugar spikes that contribute to irritability.
• A physiotherapist or massage therapist helps release tension that can make you feel “on edge.”

By addressing these layers at the same time, progress often comes faster and relapse risk is lower.

What does coordinated care for passive aggressive behaviours look like at CARESPACE?

CARESPACE’s care journey is structured into phases—acute, subacute, and maintenance—so you have the right level of support at each stage.

Phase 1 – Acute care (initial awareness and relief)

• Psychotherapy sessions focus on building awareness of triggers and patterns.
• Massage therapy or acupuncture help reduce stress-related physical tension.
• Nutrition counselling introduces basic strategies for stabilizing energy and mood.

Phase 2 – Subacute care (skill building and practice)

• Cognitive-behavioural therapy (CBT) or interpersonal therapy helps you develop assertive communication.
• Mental performance coaching supports confidence in applying new skills in relationships and at work.
• Exercise programming through kinesiology builds stress resilience.

Phase 3 – Maintenance care (long-term prevention)

• Periodic check-ins with your care team ensure that new behaviours stick.
• Ongoing lifestyle strategies like sleep hygiene, exercise, and nutrition keep stress low.
• Coaching and counselling support you as life challenges change over time.

How does CARESPACE support the mental health side of passive aggressive behaviours?

Mental health care is central to overcoming passive aggressive behaviours. Many people struggle with unspoken resentment, difficulty expressing anger, or fear of confrontation. CARESPACE addresses these issues directly with therapy and supportive disciplines.

• Psychotherapy teaches healthier ways to express frustration and communicate needs.
• Coaching builds resilience and accountability, so you can follow through on commitments without hidden resistance.
• Nutrition and fitness provide the energy and stress management needed to reduce irritability.
• Community supports like group workshops or couples-focused therapy help strengthen communication in relationships.

The CARESPACE advantage: Multidisciplinary care for passive aggressive behaviours

The CARESPACE advantage lies in its unique ability to bring together different professionals to create a personalized plan. This model ensures you’re not left piecing together separate advice from different providers—your care team works together for your success.

Benefits of coordinated care at CARESPACE:

1. Faster results: Multiple strategies reduce stress and unhelpful behaviours more quickly.
2. Lower recurrence: Combining therapy with lifestyle and wellness approaches prevents relapse.
3. Whole-person care: Your mental, physical, and emotional health are addressed together.
4. Personalized plans: Your care team adapts strategies to your individual needs and goals.

Compared to single-discipline approaches, CARESPACE’s multidisciplinary care provides a more complete path to change. Instead of focusing only on the behaviour, you get support for the root causes—stress, communication habits, and lifestyle factors—leading to lasting improvements in relationships, work, and overall well-being.

Related Conditions for Passive Aggressive Behaviours

Passive aggressive behaviours frequently overlap with other conditions that affect relationships, work, and daily functioning. They can mimic or be mistaken for other disorders, which is why professional evaluation is important.

• Depression – Withdrawal, procrastination, and low energy may resemble passive aggression, but depression is primarily driven by sadness, loss of interest, or low motivation.
• Anxiety disorders – Avoidance behaviours can overlap, though anxiety is rooted in fear or worry, while passive aggression is more about hidden resentment.
• Personality disorders – Certain traits in borderline, avoidant, or narcissistic personality disorders may involve indirect hostility similar to passive aggression.
• Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD) – In children and teens, ODD involves more open defiance, while passive aggression in adults tends to be subtler.

Looking for information on a different condition? Visit our full Conditions List.